Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize