dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
