He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
