I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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