dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
