She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
