Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
