i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
that may or may not have been my penis.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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