Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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