I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
