You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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