Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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