I met the friendliest cop last night
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
