This girl is more easily done than said...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
