we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
