i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
