please come you make the beer taste better
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
