Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
