oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
