i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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