the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Blood and glitter go together right?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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