I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My vagina is officially offended.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
