I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
