he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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