dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
