As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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