she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
