Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
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