Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
