hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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