I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Are we still banned from the library?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
