it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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