I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He passed out mid-signature
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
