You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
