Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
