let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
