3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
