You're so nebulous sometimes
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
