Already got asked if we're dating
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
