Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
