Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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