Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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