yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
