There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
