Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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