hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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