How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
