Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
