dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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