:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
